this record is my baby

remember this ahh i miss my darling


@gerardway (((((((cantstopthesegoodvibes))))))))

filed under: # ily


.MCR Albums + Color Palette Track Listings. 


filed under: # my life


it probably seems like i cry over stupid shit but tbh i usually end up crying because i’ve stored up all of my upset feelings from multiple things rather than express them and then the littlest thing sets me off like spilling my drink may not be that big of a deal but when i’ve stored up that many negative emotions it feels like i busted a hole in the hoover dam

This is the rape joke:
My best friend was four years old the first time his father came into his room at midnight and tore out his throat. He still has days when I cannot hold him because the memory of a bleeding trachea haunts his doorway. He has not been home for the holidays in many years, but – even now – hands are seen as weapons.

This is the rape joke:
I have been told by more than twenty people that they have been raped. To all of them, I asked where the rapist was. From none of them, I heard ‘jail.’

This is the rape joke:
Once my brother told me that I was so ugly, I would be a virgin forever. Unless someone raped me. But even they wouldn’t come back for seconds.

This is the rape joke:
I believed him.

This is the rape joke:
I now look at every woman on the street and wonder if the space between her legs is a crime scene, surrounded by ripped caution tape. The statistics tell me that this is so common that I will never be in a room that does not contain a survivor. Not even if I am in that room alone.

This is the rape joke:
I was thirteen years old, and he was supposed to be just a friend.

This is the rape joke:
When his older brother came home, the boy pulled away. He wiped the tears from my face and said ‘we should do this again some time.’

This is the rape joke:
When I finally told my parents, they asked what I had been wearing.

This is the rape joke:
I had been wearing my innocence. My trust. I had worn the love I held for humanity and expected to be treated well. I had never been taught that I would be that girl, the one who keeps a mine of secrets between her legs – that girl was the slut. I wasn’t supposed to be breakable.
What had I been wearing? I wore the rape joke, then I became it.

This is the Rape Joke | d.a.s

After Lora Mathis’s poem “the Rape Joke

(via ragyo)

basically ok im still really stressed/worried/grossed out by this so on Saturday night i got too drunk and i made some really bad decisions while drunk and i am sooooo grossed out by them now and honestly im worried its gonna fuck with me seriously ive spent years wondering if im asexual or if im just scared and idk still but i do know that making out with people that you do not find attractive at all like even drunk is absolutely disgusting and not fun at all and i almost threw up while it was happening and i almost throw up thinking about it and basically im even more grossed out by sex than i think i was before and idk what to do like i don’t wanna be that way but im scared i always will be and i just don’t know what to do also im now avoiding four people onmy campus which is pretty small and i can’t even remember exactly what two of them look like and two of them were my “friends” and im just confused and stressed and idk its just really hard and i don’t know what to do like i wasn’t about making out and sex and shit before at all but i really enjoyed what happened Friday night but im worried Saturday night messed me all up again and idk i just know im really uncomfortable with this situation that i got put in and i know its not my fault and i know its not really anyone else’s fault either but honestly when they say you can’t consent when you’re drunk they are absolutely right and fuck like the situation shouldn’t be such a big deal but it kinda is and i just don’t know anything it’s just so weird ugh ugh ugh and idk how to keep avoiding them and stuff but im really uncomfortable with the thought of being around them and im really kinda mad too idk it just sucks im sorry im sure none of this made sense but yeah I have a lot going on in my mind right now

"Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam."